Note: As annoying as I find Jacob's recaps, I am pleased to find I can wholly endorse his "recaplets." Visit TWOP here to read his recaplet for this episode.
First aired: June 14, 2009
Sam, with the bag o' money, hears the screaming and joins Sookie, Tara, and Andy. We see more of the legs; looks like the body is wearing a skirt, so it's less likely to be Lafayette. Tara suggests calling the cops, and Andy points out that he is the cops. The body is really dead, having had its heart removed through a large gaping hole in its chest; Tara recognizes the body as that of the exorcist/pharmacist. And screams again. The title sequence rolls.
The rest of the cops have now arrived at the scene and set up yellow tape and flashing lights. Sookie mind-reads, in addition to Andy's mental grumbling, that Tara is lying to a police officer about knowing the victim. She concentrates and blocks out the mental noise.
The sheriff arrives; Andy lets him know that the body is in full rigor mortis, indicating that it was placed in his car in the past four hours while he was at the bar. The sheriff, noting Andy's drunkenness, diplomatically suggests he call it a night, and Andy gets real pissed at being called "overworked."
Sam and Sookie discuss how murder sucks, and Sookie describes the latest as sadistic in nature, unlike Rene's crimes, which were motivated by anger. She then confronts Tara about knowing the dead women, and Tara identifies her as the exorcist. Sookie encourages her to do the right thing, and Tara goes do just that, albeit reluctantly, knowing how it might affect her recovering alcoholic mother.
Bill Compton is laying down the laws for his protegee, which include being in bed by 4 am, not hunting people, and separating the bottle and paper recycling (awesome.) He's interrupted by his cell phone (which the brat envies.) It's Sookie alluding to what's happened. Bill and the brat have a very father-brat exchange about his girlfriend coming over, and he sends her upstairs to clean up her "slattern" look.
Jason, half-naked and with a highlighter in hand, sits in bed reading Fellowship of the Sun literature, looking very convinced that vampires are minions of Satan. He thinks about his dead psycho girlfriend and is sad.
The police officers, in light of Tara's previous description of the naked lady and the pig, are skeptical about the exorcism and the "voodoo bus." Andy is particularly belligerent about it; he must miss Jason. The sheriff pulls him aside and reminds him that Andy himself could be a suspect. Tara's mother bursts in, and is very upset about "Miss Jeanette." Tara, for some reason, takes this moment to tell her mother about Miss Jeanette being a scam, because it's always a good idea to destroy a substance abuser's belief in their treatment.
We next hear creepy music and four rather miserable people hunched on the ground in a dungeony setting. They wear collars and chains, and one of them, who is Lafayette, is thirsty enough to try drinking dripping sewage. Another, who is an old man, mutters something, and they all get up and start turning a big gear, although most can't stand; it turns out this is just to turn the device they're all locked to so the old guy can get to the toilet. A man with a bag over his head, protesting his ignorance, is brought down to join them -- he turns out to be one of the homophobe bar patrons, and recognizes Lafayette.
Bill and Sookie are hugging while she relates the events of the evening; he tries to tell her about the brat, but she interrupts him with smooching, so that they are in turn interrupted by the brat, wearing a towel.
Tara apologizes to her mother, who won't believe Miss Jeanette was a fraud due to her own recovery. Instead, she turns nasty-Christian, and warns Tara that her faith was tested and found wanting, and the evil that claimed Miss Jeanette may come for her, too. Right on cue, Maryann arrives; I don't know whether they are simply alluding to her evilness again, or implying that Maryann is responsible for Miss Jeannette's murder. Maryann and Tara embrace, raising her mother's eyebrows, and Tara perfunctorily introduces them before heading for the car. Maryann stays behind, though, and rips Tara's mother a new one for not standing by her daughter.
Sookie questions Bill about the vampire-turning business, about which she is not thrilled, and Bill actually has the gall to point out it's his punishment for killing Sookie's vampire attacker, which the brat loves. The brat gets sent to bed, and Sookie is a bit ticked about Bill not telling her things earlier. She goes on about trust a bit, leaves, and their relationship appears to be on the rocks.
Baby-faced preacher is on the TV debating the head vampire politico, and claims she knows who killed his family. As his TV appearance ends, his pastel-clad blonde wife joins him and mentions her political ambitions for him. They walk into a banquet, hobnob a bit, and Jason is introduced to them by the old white guy from the jail, whose name is Maury. Jason waxes enthusiastic, and Maury suggests him for this evangelist training program, er, leadership conference they've got, which only costs $1200. The preacher and his wife suggest that God will provide.
Sam shows up at Maryann's with the bag o' money, and it turns out the butler isn't mute after all. Jacob is shown into an art-filled room, and an abstract human figure draws his attention. We see a flashback to him as a puppy, running towards a mansion. He goes inside and shifts back to teenager, finds a food-laden table and starts chowing down. He starts stealing a bunch of stuff, and tries stealing the same figurine he's looking at in the present. Maryann walks in, menacingly, and wonders where his clothes are. Back in the present, the butler informs him that Maryann is still asleep, and Sam leaves a vague message for her before leaving.
Sookie eats some cereal and orange juice, then goes up to her grandmother's room and cries over some unfinished knitting. She starts going through her grandmother's things, giving herself a nasty cardboard cut in the process. The bell rings.
Sookie lets in a old guy in a suit and bow tie, who she recognizes from when she was settling her grandmother's estate. He breaks the news that her great-uncle is dead, washed up on the riverbank. Sookie, suspicious, asks about marks on the body, but it seems fish ate most of the flesh anyway. Additionally, he left his assets, totaling 11k, to her, which she accepts with a shaking hand. There's some red on the envelope, I suppose from her cut thumb.
Maryann sits by the pool with Tara and Eggs, eating fruit and smoking pot, admiring a large piece of artwork depicting Pan and a woman having sex. Tara implies Maryann may have been a tad hard on her mother, which Maryann dismissing to get more papaya. Tara and Eggs then have a conversation in which is established the following: Eggs has not had sex with Maryann. He has seen many dead bodies. They almost kiss, but are interrupted by the creepy butler, and Tara leaves for work. Maryann summons her butler and knocks him down, saying, "Nobody needed towels!"
Jason and Hoyt's minds are boggled by Rene, then Jason tells Hoyt about the Fellowship of the Sun. Hoyt's heard of them and is not thrilled; then Sookie shows up to tell Jason about the great-uncle and the inheritance, which she wants Jason to have. Now he can go the leadership conference, yay.
Sam is having another flashback, in which he has sex with Maryann and she vibrates and chants in a deep voice in not-English while holding her arms over her head in a manner reminiscent of the figurine. Arlene breaks his reverie, demanding the hire of another waitress, and has in fact brought a prospect, Daphne, along with her.
The dungeon folks, two of whom are gone, are turning the big gear again, even though none of them have to use the toilet. Lafayette bemoans his lot in life. The homophobe starts confessing his particularly white trash sins to Lafayette, and they sort of warm up a bit to each other.
Andy is questioning random patrons at Merlotte's about Miss Jeanette, and the wait staff bemoan Jason and Hoyt's respectively God-driven and weight-loss-driven temperance. A slutty woman propositions Jason, but he's apparently become abstinent in more ways than one. Some bar patrons theorize that Rene was posthumously turned into a vampire, which upsets Arlene. Terry refunds their money from his own pocket and kicks them out, getting a hug from Arlene in return.
Jason tells his sister about the leadership conference, but lies about the church. They miss their grandmother. Andy wants to talk to Jason, and Sookie returns to the bar, where a pink and purple square dance is taking place.
Bill is forcing the brat to try all the varieties of synthetic blood, all of which she says she hates.
Sam is drinking beer on the steps of his trailer when Sookie goes to ask him if she can take off early. He is super grouchy when she talks about Bill, which prompts an apology on her part, of the "never meant to hurt you" variety. Sam is still grouchy, and is "tired of charrin' [his] ass on [her] back burner."
Andy is gruffly interrogating an ancient couple having dinner, when he is taken to task by a dour-looking Sheriff in purple square dance attire. The Sheriff takes him off the case.
Sam has another flashback, this time to stealing clothes and jewelry while Maryann has a post-coital shower. While rummaging through her things, he comes across a drawer full of stacks of money, which he also steals. I suppose this is the same money he went to give back to her earlier, and to reinforce that implication, Maryann shows up in his trailer saying, "I think you have something of mine." He's got the heebie-jeebies, but pulls her money out and gingerly returns it. She checks it out, then creepily says, "It's not your money I want."
Meanwhile, Eggs hits on Tara at the bar and they kiss, which Sam and Maryann see.
The brat has found a particular synthetic blood type cocktail she thinks is all right, and Bill is kind of excited. Sookie arrives, sits down with the brat, and negotiates time alone with her boyfriend by promising a girl's night the next night. The brat seems to go for it, and agrees. However, as soon as she does get Bill alone, she straight-out asks him about her uncle, and Bill admits to killing him. She almost breaks up with him, but he says that although he's not sorry, he will "atone." They go upstairs and have sex/dinner, which we see more of than previously, and I can't help but think that white bedding is not a good choice for a vampire.
Back in the dungeon, we finally find out who Lafayette's captors are when Eric comes downstairs, clearly in the middle of getting his hair dyed. He takes his smock off and questions the homophobe about the vampire-killing house fire. The homophobe smashes a silver crucifix into the vampire's cheek, which is clearly painful but not at all lethal, and the vampire responds by, surprise, messily and violently killing him.
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